
I copied my work-in-progress (a horror novel) into a web app that counts the number of times I used each word. As I expected, words like the, a, and the characters’ names popped up a lot. However . . .
During my initial self-editing process, I had tried to get rid of most of the weak words, you know, the words all those helpful writing websites warn you about. (References below.) Specifically, I tried to reduce the number of times I used:
- a lot
- actually
- basically
- began
- believed
- down
- felt
- heard
- huge
- just
- knew
- large
- little
- looked
- many
- mostly
- noticed
- probably
- quite
- ran
- rather
- realized
- really
- saw
- seemed
- some
- started
- that
- then
- thought
- totally
- up
- very
- virtually
- walked
- was
- were
- wondered
For example, if I had a sentence like, “The child walked across the road,” I’d substitute, “The child lurched across the road.” After all, she was a zombie.
For a sentence like, “He felt guilty for missing curfew,” I’d substitute, “He shifted from one foot the the other and fiddled with the buttons on his shirt.”
The results:
My self-editing paid off in some places, but not all. I was left with very few very’s and really no really’s, thought’s, or felt’s. But what verb showed up more frequently than any other? Was it said because the book has plenty of dialogue? Noooo. It was was, to the tune of 1000 repetitions!
Aw, fudge.
That means I was telling instead of showing, or I was using passive voice (gasp!). It wasn’t a pleasant chore, but I went through the manuscript and rewrote a bazillion sentences. I left the was’s in dialogue because people do talk that way. And I left the was’s in minor descriptions: “It was eight o’clock.” But I beefed up the other sentences with stronger, showing verbs.
Instead of, “She was sad,” I’d substitute something like, “Her breath came in hitches. She blew her nose. A minute passed before she spoke again.”
Using a web app to count the number of times I used each word was an eye-opening experience. I recommend trying it:
https://www.online-utility.org/text/frequent_words.jsp
Or a simpler app with shorter results: https://wordcounter.net
And here are three references explaining why we need to curtail the number of weak words we use in our fiction:
https://dianaurban.com/words-you-should-cut-from-your-writing-immediately
https://www.louiseharnbyproofreader.com/blog/filter-words-in-fiction-purposeful-inclusion-and-dramatic-restriction
Lakin, C.S., et al. 5 Editors tackle the 12 Fatal Flaws. Ubiquitous Press, 2015.
Happy writing!
I’ve never used that site – but I can imagine it would have come in very handy when I was in school and writing papers.
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I didn’t even think of that! It’d be a great resource for college and high school students. Thanks for stopping by, T.J.!
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H. L. Mencken, the famous journalist, used to caution new reporters not to use the word “very. “ He instructed them to use the word “damn” in its place, which any editor would quickly remove. Whether Menchen would approve of computer algorithms or not, I can not say. Good for you for finding tools to increase your creativity. You are an inspiration.
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That is SUCH a great tip. Yes, a journalism-oriented editor would remove “damn” right away, but it’s a great idea for fiction. I’m glad you commented, Fawn!
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You have cited all the common pitfalls of first books, Priscilla. I also had to eliminate loads of was usages out of my first book. I now look out carefully for them as I go along so that I don’t have to spend hours eliminating them afterwards. We also all have our pet words that we use repeatedly. I try to watch out of those too but they creep in.
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Good point that we each have our own pet words. I haven’t figured mine out yet, but I have noticed I use participial phrases frequently. I’ve read that I’m not supposed to do that, but I noticed that Shirley Jackson did, so I’m in good company.:-) Thanks for commenting, Robbie!
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“Was” is such a fundamental word. Did you ever find yourself writing something to replace it that ended up convoluted and vague? I think the ultimate test isn’t how many instances of any particular word we have in our writing, but how smoothly the prose reads. Not arguing with you (well, not really), but I have this urge to quibble writing rules that outlaw specific words. 😉
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Yes, I know you have the urge to quibble writing rules.:-) I think at this stage of my writing journey I need to learn the rules inside and out before I know when it’s appropriate to break them. And as of yesterday, I now officially have a mentor, so I’m hoping with her eyes on my work I’ll get more specific guidance regarding the rules I should follow or break.
To answer your question, yes, some of my new non-was sentences were awkward, so I went back to the original “was” sentences in those cases.
I’m so glad you commented, Audrey!
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Definitely the best approach, to learn the rules before bending or breaking them. But since writing is more art than science, some of the rules are more like guidelines. Glad you weren’t put off by my quibbles.
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Tough job this editing….
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Haha, yeah. I have a feeling I have much more editing in front of me on this book since it’s my first one. Thanks for commenting.:-)
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All I can say is good luck
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Sounds like you did a thorough, great job. B of a job but worth it in the end! 🤗
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Reblogged this on anita dawes and jaye marie.
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That was nice of you to reblog, thanks.:-)
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We all do this to start with! The showing not telling is hard, but it comes with time I think.
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I think so, too, that showing will come easier with time. (At least I hope so!) Thanks for commenting, Stevie!
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What an eye-opener. Thanks for sharing. I plan to reblog this on equips.
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How nice of you to reblog. Thanks.:-)
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Weak words slip in no matter how long we’ve been writing. They’re like gnats, LOL.
The longer I write, the more aware I am to avoid them in the process, but I still catch them on read throughs and edits. It sounds like you’re hard at work on your WIP, Priscilla. Wishing you much forward progress!
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“Like gnats,” heehee! Thanks for the encouraging words, Mae. I’m glad you stopped by!
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Reblogged this on Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog.
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Thank you, I’m flattered.:-)
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👍😃
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Back when I taught creative writing, I’d have the occasional student who believed, fiercely, that said was overused. When that involved cutting he said/she said where it was clear that someone was saying something, that worked well, but when they turned themselves inside out finding synonyms for said, it made me want to pull my hair out. If they’d have just left it in there, it would be as invisible and and or but.
I don’t know that I ever convinced anyone of that, though.
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I agree with you, Ellen. I totally leave my “said”s be. He yelled and she exhorted aren’t the same because you kind of stop and see the dialogue tag when you’re reading instead of the dialogue itself. Thanks for your comment!
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Exactly!
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This is fascinating! I’m not writing a novel, but I know there are certain “crutch” words I use in a lot of my book reviews.
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My face is red. If I put this particular post in the word-tallying web app, I’d find a lot of weak words. Then again, I was posting about my fiction writing. My blog has a more laid back, chill, casual tone. Thank you for popping in, Angela!
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Great resource. I now have a new bookmark. Psst. I got there from the eQuips reblog. Nice site!
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Aw, thank you, JeanMarie. And congrats on your inclusion in the Heron Clan VI anthology!
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Thank you!
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Reblogged this on Plaisted Publishing House and commented:
Those DARN little words…
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Thanks, Claire! That’s awfully nice of you.:-)
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Welcome Priscilla 🙂
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I always find it interesting when writers talk about the rules of writing, especially when to break them and when not to. Do you think about passive voice while writing or is it something you look during the editing process?
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I totally think about passive voice during the writing process, and if I can’t think of an alternative on the fly, I leave a marker in the text (like 3 x’s). That way I’m sure to find and fix it (or leave it if that’s best) on the edit.
Thanks for commenting, Alicia!
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What a great discipline. I always search my finished document for ‘just’ and ‘ly’ – those pesky adverbs!
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“Just” sneaks in there, doesn’t it?! When I use an -ly adverb, I try to make it special, unique, or ironic so it earns its place. Thanks for commenting, Julia.:-)
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This is an excellent tool. I’m going to use this.
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It was certainly eye-opening for me, but fun, too. Have a fab day, Bryan!
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