2020 Nano Snippet

Image of face with Christmas lights reflecting off the eye.

Here’s a snippet from my 2020 NaNoWriMo project. In this (rough draft!) scene, a mom is watching her teenage daughter sleep. Mom gets the creepy mom of the year award for sure.

Your bedroom door is open a crack the way you like it. You’ve strung last year’s Christmas lights across your headboard, and I watch you sleep in their sickly rainbow glow. The night is warm, and you’ve kicked off the quilt my mother made for you with the pastel pink and yellow star pattern. You look so vulnerable there on your back with your throat exposed and legs akimbo.

Before an hour passes, my daughter, the thorny blossom of my womb, you’ll be off to catch the bus. You’ll walk with ragged strands of your hair hanging about your face in the same way shredded bits of your childhood hang about your life. At the bus stop, you and your high school friends will slouch silently in a circle and grow pimples together.

Well, we still have one and a half days of Nano left, and I’m not done yet, so I better get back to it. Good luck to you if you’re also sprinting toward that finish line!

Feature image by Siora Photography on unsplash.

76 thoughts on “2020 Nano Snippet

  1. My favorite phrase was ‘growing pimples together’
    I love Nano, but found that I’m a middle grade writer at best – I kept finishing the rough draft with 20K words still to go! This year I gave up on a novel altogether and queried my picture books.
    Fingers crossed for you, though. Great snippet!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Picture books, how fun, best of luck! I successfully wrote, edited, and submitted 3 stories in November, but my fourth story didn’t suit me. It sounded like someone else wrote it even after I edited and polished the heck out of it. So I deleted it. (GASP, I know, I know . . . ) Thanks for stopping by, Jen!


      1. Lol, deleted stories are just fertilizer for future writing. You watch, a character or plot point from that story will show up in a future book or story, and you’ll wonder, “Now, where did THAT come from?”

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  2. I hope you did manage to finish off your nano project in time, but either which way you should be proud of your progress! And yes, she definitely wins creepy mother of the year award D:

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I ALMOST finished. I ended up deleting one of the stories instead of submitting it because even after editing it to death I wasn’t happy with it. Overall, I’m pretty happy with my Nano short story project. Thanks for stopping by, Olivia-Savannah!

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  3. “…ragged strands of your hair hanging about your face in the same way shredded bits of your childhood hang about your life.” <–This is powerful writing in its imagery!

    "Creepy mom" is a thorough description of the mother and displayed with excellence through "showing" the daughter in her bed.

    I hope you keep going with this Priscilla, I am hooked and want more! I will buy the Kindle version when it is available!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. That’s amazing! So many questions buzzing through my head. Why so much negative vibes from mummy dearest. What is the trigger! I worked with a woman who had so much jealousy towards her daughter. It shocked me.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ooh second person! I haven’t read too many books with that in it before, but the one I want to read next year called the fifth season uses it quite a bit. I enjoyed reading this snippet!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Jimisin’s weighty book? I didn’t know it had a lot of 2nd person narration in it. That’s awfully brave for such a big book! I have one of her science fiction stories on my Kindle. Thank you for your kind words, Olivia-Savannah, and have a fab 2021!


  6. I like it. It’s pretty creepy. But it is all in the few minor details, otherwise it could have been heartwarming. I have always loved to read horror, but I am not sure I am up to writing it. I either go way too cliché or way too silly. I know there is a sweet spot in there somewhere.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That story turned out well. I sold it to a literary journal for spring 2022 publication. You’re right about the details: creepy in this case, easily heartwarming after some tweaks. Thanks for commenting!

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