Here’s a snippet from my 2020 NaNoWriMo project. In this (rough draft!) scene, a mom is watching her teenage daughter sleep. Mom gets the creepy mom of the year award for sure.
Your bedroom door is open a crack the way you like it. You’ve strung last year’s Christmas lights across your headboard, and I watch you sleep in their sickly rainbow glow. The night is warm, and you’ve kicked off the quilt my mother made for you with the pastel pink and yellow star pattern. You look so vulnerable there on your back with your throat exposed and legs akimbo.
Before an hour passes, my daughter, the thorny blossom of my womb, you’ll be off to catch the bus. You’ll walk with ragged strands of your hair hanging about your face in the same way shredded bits of your childhood hang about your life. At the bus stop, you and your high school friends will slouch silently in a circle and grow pimples together.
Well, we still have one and a half days of Nano left, and I’m not done yet, so I better get back to it. Good luck to you if you’re also sprinting toward that finish line!
Feature image by Siora Photography on unsplash.
Wow, that Mom has some issues.
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Haha, that’s one way to put it! Thanks for reading, Rami.:-)
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You’re welcome!
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Love this! Now I want to read the rest. Good luck, Priscilla😁
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Thanks, Tammy!
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Wow, love this snippet! Great job, Priscilla. I really like your depiction of the character- Mums like this produce authors like me. 😉
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Thanks, Ms. Strange.:-) Hey, I just finished your collection. It was a fun read. Rating will be up soon!
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Aw, really? Thanks Priscilla, that means so much to me! Can you believe my own Mum refused to buy it? How’s that for a slightly psychotic mother/daughter relationship? 😂
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You do creepy mom’s better than anyone since Hitchcock.
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OMGosh, what a compliment, thank you, Pat!
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You’re welcome.
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Oh creepy! Best of luck with the remaining time!
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Thank you, Jonny.:-) It’s almost time for your sequel to come out, exciting!
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Very welcome, you’ve got this!
Yeah, I’m happy!
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Sounds like a really good story so far. 🙂
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Thanks, Ghostmmnc!
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…throat exposed… ha ha! Love it. Totally creepy.
You’re a wonderful writer Priscilla. There’s poetry in your prose. This line for example: “You’ll walk with ragged strands of your hair hanging about your face in the same way shredded bits of your childhood hang about your life.” What a beautiful and sad metaphor.
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Oh my goodness, thank you JeanMarie! I actually clapped when I read your comment.:-)
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That line got me too JeanMarie, what the heck has that mother done??
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Thank you, Jacky! I’m excited about this story.:-)
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JeanMarie beat me to it. I loved that description too. And “thorny blossom of my womb” is great too, in a disturbing way.
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Disturbing . . . awesome, that’s what I was going for.:-) Thanks so much, Audrey!
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You’re welcome, Priscilla.
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Yikes, P!! Creepy as heck.
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Thanks, Jessica, music to my ears!
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I love how descriptive these snippets are!
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Thank you, Carole.:-)
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Ahhhh! That’s creepy. Would love to read more.
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Thank, Iseult!
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Goodness, I just want to shout at this mom, ‘what’s wrong with you, teen life already hard enough!!’
Well done, Priscilla.
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Yeah, teen life is tough! Thanks for stopping by, Patricia.:-)
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A rough draft, you say? It’s pretty impressive even for a finished product, and eerie. Good luck for the last day of NaNoWriMo. You’re a winner already!
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Aw, thank you, Olga! You’re so sweet.:-)
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Great scene! I can’t wait to read the rest!
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Thank you.:-) It’s now in completed form sitting in a slush pile. Who knows, maybe the story will be published! I’m glad you stopped by!
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I’ve always wanted to do this event. Maybe next time. Pretty creepy post, good job!
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Thanks, Cheryl. This was my 3rd Nano. It’s a fun challenge!
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Seriously creepy mom. Hope you reach your goal, Priscilla!
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Thank you, Teri!
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Great characterization.
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Thanks, Deby!
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Intriguing pieces, Priscilla. I’m interested to know more about this mom.
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Thanks, Robbie! It’s now a full story in an editor’s slush pile. Who knows, maybe it will get accepted for publication.:-)
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Holding thumbs for you, Priscilla.
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I love this snippet! It sounds like a great story so far!
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Thank you, and happy December!
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Creepy. I imagine the mom holding a knife while she does this. Not sure why. Good luck finishing it.
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Thanks.! I think you imagined the mom holding a knife because that’s exactly how you’d write the scene.:-) I’m glad you stopped by, Anthony!
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True. Guess my mind tends to go to darker places. Not sure why. Usually a happy guy. 🙂
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Yeah, it’s weird how some of the happiest people you meet are horror authors.
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Guess the darkness inside has to get out some way. Writing is my therapy.
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